Year-End Reflection: Straight Talk on Planning Your Best Year Yet

Welcome back to Shooting It Straight.

I'm Randy Black.

And I'm Elizabeth Clayton.

As the year winds down, we want to hit pause and take stock of what went well

what didn't, and how we're going to show up differently next year.

Today we're diving into a reflection exercise inspired by Mel Robbins.

We'll walk through seven questions to help you reflect on the past year and take clear steps into the next one.

Coach Jim Clayton: You know, believe in yourself.

Coach Jim Clayton: Or nobody else will.

Coach Jim Clayton: Set the bar high, achieve greatness, and stay motivated through the process.

Coach Jim Clayton: You know what that spells?

Coach Jim Clayton: BAM, son!

This is Shooting It Straight, the podcast where life lessons don't come sugar-coated and excuses get checked at the door.

Randy Black, podcast guy, educator, and resident technique.

And apparently, still the only one here who doesn't yell bam, son, in public.

And I'm Elizabeth Clayton, stepping into some big shoes, ready to ask the tough questions, call it like it is, and

Maybe even challenge Randy a little along the way.

Each week, we're taking what life teaches us.

The discipline, the drive, the lessons you can't just read in a book, and translating it into real-world success.

That's right.

This is about showing.

up when life gets messy, pushing through when the pressure's on, and figuring out how to get better, no matter what.

And if you're looking for fluff, this probably isn't your show.

We're here to help you believe bigger, achieve louder, and motivate stronger.

So buckle up and whatever

you do keep shooting it straight.

Bam son.

So Liz, you shared a a clip with me actually through Facebook.

I went back and had to find it.

And it was from the Today Show, and it had Mel Robbins on as a guest.

So I pulled a clip out of that real quick that I want to play, and then I want I want to let you have the chance to kind of talk about it.

So let me play that real fast for us.

So speaking of new years and you're saying all of this chaos and it's gonna start, how do we set ourselves up for success within the next year?

Like how do we fix that ourselves?

So

that help us get clear about where we're at right now because here's an interesting thing about goals.

Most of us are so ready to complete the dumpster fire that has been this year.

We just want to jump into next year, right?

I don't want you to do that.

I want you to take a beat and really understand where are you right now?

Because it's impossible to give somebody a set of directions without two things.

You got to know where you are.

And where you want to go.

Most people just look ahead and say, I want to go there, but you don't understand where you're starting from it.

So Liz, what was it that jumped out at you when you s when you saw this with Mel Roberts on the Day Show?

Um, well, you know, I'd never really gone back and looked at the pictures in my phone.

You know, we we look at pictures on our phone, okay, all the time.

It's just a habit.

I mean, we all take pictures on our phone, but I'd never t like actu

Taking a step to go back and look at the entire year.

And um it really that stood out to me.

So I actually did that

Uh, after I listened to that clip and I was surprised at what I learned when I looked through my, you know, photo album of things I forgot.

Um, you know, and some of the good things that happened and things that were not so great, but regardless, um, you know, uh everybody wants to jump to the next year.

pretty much, you know, when we get to the new year.

New Year, New Year.

You know, you hear that all the time.

Oh yes.

But we just for we just kind of forget about the year before.

Yeah.

And um, you know, what she said in there uh was, you know, you gotta know where you are

Uh, you know, and um, you know, that's that's kind of reflecting back on on things that have happened in our life in the you know the previous year, but um to know where you want to go.

Yeah.

You know, and um

It's uh it fascinated me and it really um you know, I listen to her all the time, but that that clip just really stuck with me and then I shared it with you about maybe doing an uh you know an episode about it

Yeah.

And it like it it really hit me when when when I s when I listened to it and I was like, you know, that's some some really great stuff.

And and what I found is that

you know, with with these questions, it actually I mean it it really puts you in that mindset to know this is where I'm at

This is where I want to be.

Now how do I get there?

And it's it's it's a tremendous exercise.

And I've got something special prepared for our listeners that we'll talk about later so that they can go through this same exercise themselves.

But let's go ahead and let's jump in.

Let's start working through the questions today on the show.

So what I did is I went out and I looked for the specific questions that Mel had.

And they're out there in two separate episodes of her podcast.

One of them was recent.

But

So that's why when Mel in that clip said six questions.

We've said seven because I I like those seven questions.

It's the same idea.

There's just one more question added in.

So what I did, I was able to clip each of those questions and use that as our jumping off point

to work our way through and talk about it so we can reflect on our own year.

So here's question number one from Mel Robbins.

Question number one.

Describe the highlights from the past year of your life.

What were the highlights?

So the idea is you gotta look at the moments of joy that you had, the accomplishments you had, what happened that was positive in your relationships, what growth did you have, what experiences mattered the most.

And it's one of those things when you think about it, it's it's hard.

It's really hard to do.

And you pointed out something that she suggested to do

Just now when you talked, and you talked about looking through the photos on your phone.

So when you did that, Liz, what were some of the things that jumped out as highlights for you?

Um, you know, well, um, it's funny.

I'm very as we've talked about before, I'm very nostalgic and sentimental, especially about, you know, um

my family and um you know I really made it a focus to connect with um some family members and also

connect with family members that I had never met before.

Um so, you know, looking back starting around February, March ish, you know, I I've made a few trips.

up to Indianapolis.

My cousin lives up there and we spent a couple of times together and just really talked and um

You know, one of the other times I have a family member, she's 80 years old, um, from my dad's side of the family that we connected um through ancestry.

com however many years ago.

Yeah, and we um started mess she had a photo on there of family members um and um I had never seen before.

And the house had been it that it was the house was actually in Gaendot, you know, w where this picture was taken.

And I had never seen what the house looked like.

She actually had a picture of the house.

So we I got her phone number, we started texting and um

You know, I'd always always said I wanted to come up and visit her.

Well, I made it a point.

Um, I said, I'm doing it.

So I drove up there and I spent the whole afternoon with her and her husband and her daughter was there and she had

25, 30 plus years of doing, you know, the family, um, the the the genealogy work of going back and just just ha all this information I had never seen before.

Wow.

I knew a lot of it

But it was so eye opening to sit there with her and just talk about all of this stuff.

And um, you know, I had another experience where um

on my dad's side of the family, his dad um was from Collinsville, Illinois.

And I had I've never been there.

Well, um

My great grandparents are buried there.

Um, and I apparently still have family there I never knew existed.

Well, I n I I probably knew there was some people there, but I just didn't know who they were.

Well, years ago my grandmother, you know, opened up to me about some things and

I started digging away and I found some phone numbers and started contacting people.

Well, you know, now in the age of social media, um, I've been able to stay in contact with some of these people and

Right before the Kentucky Derby, um, one of my long lost cousins, let's just say that, said her brother was gonna be in town for for the derby, and she gave me his number.

We connected.

And we met at a restaurant on the Friday before dirt.

And we sat and another family that family member was there with us.

And we just had the the best time.

And I was able to connect him with my dad.

Nice.

I was they they FaceTimed and got to meet each other and talk and I got to tell my dad about it, which was really cool.

Um and I'd hope to maybe take my dad.

I've never been

to Collinsville.

And it's a goal of mine.

And I really wanted my dad to go with me.

But of course, you know, that's not going to happen now.

But I'm going to go.

So um that was really a big highlight for me

Especially looking back through my pictures and seeing that, you know, over the last few weeks, it really um you know, made me happy to see that and um know that I made those connections.

You know, I l I I look back at things and I, you know, this year has been an interesting one, you know, for me in that, you know, my son who is a senior in high school

has not played in the band since he was in seventh grade.

And I was a band guy.

I played in the band in high school, marched, loved it.

Uh, but this year I got to see him

step up and join the marching band as a senior and go back to playing saxophone that he hasn't played in a number of years and pick it right up and do great and take a leadership role

in their band.

You know, he he would step up anytime that something needs done, he was like, Mr.

B, that's their band directory.

I got it.

I'll take care of it.

And just watching him and the growth he's had in the past year so far from that.

uh not even a year, six months really that we've seen that.

Um it's been an amazing experience to watch.

You know, I've had a lot of a lot of little wins along the way because you know we have to we have to make sure we

we see those and pick those up as well and include 'em.

Um, just little things like figuring out and this is gonna go total total tech geek on everybody right now.

Uh little things with with PowerShell scripts and stuff at work, like being able to

create scripts to rename computers when somebody deploys it wrong and gives it the wrong name.

Just easy system to make it work and make it easy.

Uh stuff with that.

Being able to to find ways to

uh make make my process in in in podcasting and production and and things a whole lot easier.

Like right now, we're we're using a a program through Rode who makes the hardware we're using.

that we're, you know, I'm sitting in Milton, West Virginia, you're sitting in Louisville, Kentucky, and it's pretty clear.

Sounds great, solid sound quality, and it's all a voice over IP connection and it's really solid.

I consider that a win because without it, it would be hard to

to get this kind of quality sound uh through through a remote connection uh without some other some other expenses.

So it's not it's it's been a good year in that I've been able to launch podcasts this year.

you know, this podcast right here and uh last year, July first was the first episode that came out with me and your dad.

And it's been some of the most fun I've had in podcasting um over the last almost decade I've been in the space.

So

I see a lot of a lot of big things from the past year, but a lot of the little things matter too.

And those little things are the ones that we often forget.

So it you know, that's that's kind of the idea, sometimes something small may happen.

We may not have it in our camera roll.

We may not have it in our photos to look back on.

But if we just jot that down somewhere, write it down so we have a a log of what's happened.

And, you know, my wife is the best at this.

Every day she writes down what happened that day.

What did she do that day?

What was she involved in in that day?

And it's one of those things I look at and I'm like, man, that's that's powerful.

I wish I'd been doing that.

So you know, it's it's it's a thing where we have to look back and think

you know, what really what really were our highlights.

And it's not an easy thing to see because a lot of times we get

overpowered by the things that were hard, the things that that were the the hardest part of our year.

And that leads us into the second question.

that Mel has for us.

Second question is, what were some of the hardest parts this year?

This is, you know, this is going to be one that uh we've spent the last two episodes talking about a little bit.

You know, some of the hardest things that happened this year.

Uh number one, um, for both of us is losing your dad.

Um and I I it's like I've said before.

I can't say that Jim Clayton would say I was his best friend, but he was mine for the last six months he was here.

And I lost that.

And I lost that talking to him every day.

And it wouldn't have to be on the phone.

It could be in a text message.

It could be whatever.

Um, losing him was hard.

It was one of the hard it was the hardest thing that had hit me all year long up to that point.

And then, you know, two months later, we lose my father-in-law.

And that has been such

a pain for me.

Um and I know it doesn't compare to the the pain and the hurt that my wife has.

That's her dad.

You know, that's the man who has raised her, who she's lived with her whole life, and he's gone.

Um, but for me it's been hard too, because we're we're having to adjust our lives.

Um

for such a huge change.

Um there's been some other hard things that have gone on, you know

I've had some experiences where I've really thought about changing my job because I've had some stuff happen that just wasn't the best.

And I don't want to go into a lot of details on it, but

You know, some things went on and I've really thought, you know, maybe, maybe it's time to to start looking somewhere else.

Time to start looking at at potentially, you know, maybe even going back in the classroom.

That thought had crossed my mind.

So some things with that, those are some of the hard things I've had to do.

There have been some some struggles with that.

Um

The lessons I've gotten from it though are going to be a little more powerful.

But we'll we'll talk about those in a second.

I kind of want to hear, you know

I know we're going to talk about your dad.

And I know that's that's that's a hard one of the hardest parts you've had this year.

That's a given.

We know that.

But what other things were were were hard things for you this year, Liz?

Well, it's interesting.

I'm gonna I'm gonna say one more positive thing before I hit the the um harder parts and um just going back to the first part of what we talked about as you were talking it made me realize something that

You know, um, one of the highlights of my year was seeing my dad so excited about this podcast.

And seeing h his voice light up, listening to him on these podcasts and then talking to him afterwards and, you know, hearing about what you guys were doing.

Um

You know, that was just a little over six months ago that that this all started and you all started talking about it before then, of course, putting it all together.

But, you know, knowing I'm gonna th I think and I I'm gonna say

I'm gonna talk about my dad for a second because if there's any highlight in his life, it was starting that podcast.

And it just really illuminated my life so much watching him

you know, step into that role with you and hearing you guys every week.

And um, you know, uh six months ago, seven months ago, I would have never thought that I would be sitting right here talking to you

Right.

It's a little little crazy how things things work out.

We didn't even know each other.

So we didn't we didn't know each other.

I didn't know I mean I knew who you were.

We had never really talked.

Um but um you know

Of course, the death of my father has brought us together pretty much.

And um, you know, I but I listen to you every week, so it's like I kinda got to know you a little bit listening to you.

on your end.

Um but um of course definitely the the uh you know hardest part of co lose you know losing my dad for sure because uh

That's ha uh you just can't compare that to to anything else.

Um but um and I know you know you know the pain of that right now.

I mean and um like I said, it's uh

But, you know, throughout this whole process, I'm learning so many things about myself and I realized

the last day or two, you know, thinking about all the pain that I felt and all the, you know

I have so much positivity in my life right now and that I know that's what my dad would want me to focus on.

Right.

Um and I realized at the end of the day

You know, we all wanna know what our why is in life.

What is your why?

Yep.

I literally said to myself

I know what my why is now, my dad.

My I I will live my life till the day I die.

He will always be my inspiration in everything that I do.

And no matter what comes at me, no matter how hard it is, what I've got to deal with

it'll be okay.

And um that's literally uh you know, so no matter how many times I've gotten myself down

With him not being, you know, here, I just I try to surround myself with all the positive things that I know he would do, um or say.

And of course, talking to you helps.

This has definitely helped build me up in the process of um uh the last three, three and a half months of not having him here.

You and I working together and just really trying to add value to other people's lives.

It's your it's your free therapy.

Yeah.

That's the way to look at it.

That's exactly right.

some struggles in some way or another.

And we may not realize how much of a struggle it really is.

You know, and those those don't just have to be

you know, a work struggle or a family struggle.

Struggles could be emotional in very different ways.

They could be mental.

They could be spiritual.

They could be physical.

Um, you know, I've

It it was last, you know, not this past year of twenty five, but in the late twenty-four, I got diagnosed as a type two diabetic and I've had to, you know, work my way through that and adjust with that.

And and the last year has given me a lot of insight into things

And I'm down 30 pounds or so in a year and a year and a couple months.

So I've I've I've had a win because of that.

Didn't touch on my highlights and I should have.

Um but you know, we have to

We have to look at the challenges, the hard parts of our lives, and realize that they're not really there to discourage us.

They they really are there to encourage us and to to make us stronger.

You know, it goes back to what we talked about on the previous episode, grief, that grief and and handling isn't it uh handling it isn't about moving on.

It's about moving forward.

We have to use it as the tool to to help us grow.

That, you know, we have to be encouraged by these things that are happening.

Um, and that

When others see those things, when others look at us and see the struggles we're having and the problems we're facing, that

They might be judging us in some way, like, well, I wonder what they did for this to have to happen to them.

But we can't let it, we can't let ourselves judge ourselves for it.

We have to look past it and move on.

The whole idea is what, you know, with with those hardships, it it takes us in to the the third question in that series.

And let's let's hear what Mel said that is.

And that brings me to the third question.

What did you learn about yourself this year?

And that's that's a tough one for a lot of people to answer.

What is it they learned?

What is it they learned about themselves?

And I look at everything from the past year and I've learned that

I have the ability, and it's going to sound so cheesy when I say this, because it's going to go right back to episode two and episode three and four and five and six and seven.

I have the ability to bounce back.

I have I'm I'm actually resilient in in recovering from things and and and moving forward

And I didn't realize that until I had the chance to sit down and and focus on those ideas and discuss them and talk about them.

I really do have that ability.

Um, in the past, with stuff that's work-related, I would just get angry and and and shut down and just try to forget about it.

And that doesn't work because the problem's still gonna be there.

I gotta find a way to move forward from it.

Not from it, move forward with it.

to to look at it, to say, okay, well this didn't work.

What can I do different?

What do I need to do now?

And and find a way to to push forward.

Because

So much of what we have to do to learn about ourselves is we have to look at the patterns we have in our daily life.

We have to look at our habits.

Oh, wait, we talked about that on this show.

We have to look at our strengths

We have to look at our weaknesses.

We have to know our boundaries.

And if we have all those things figured out or at least acknowledged, then personal growth can happen

But we have to learn about ourselves first.

And I've learned that I can be resilient, that I can bounce back, that I can move forward, not move on, but move forward

Mm-hmm.

So you you kind of shared a little bit about what you've learned about yourself in the past year.

Is there anything else there, Liz?

Well, I feel like I can uh totally relate to what you just said.

I uh if I could just copy that and paste it

Bam.

You know, um I feel exactly.

Wait, wait, wait.

What was that?

What was that?

Bam, son.

Bam, son.

We always have to

If somebody says it, we have to play it.

If anybody says it, I just hit the button.

Bam, son.

Oh my gosh.

I love it.

I love it.

Well, you know, a friend of mine made a comment to me the other day and it really stuck with me.

I I don't even remember what we were talking about, but she looked at me and she goes, You're a survivor.

I said, What?

She I said

Wow, no one's ever said that to me before.

She goes, you just keep on going.

No matter what hits you, no matter what comes at you, you you just keep on going.

You bounce back.

You're resilient.

And

The word resiliency for probably the last year has that word has just stuck with me in everything that I've ever done, if there's anything my dad ever taught me

He he you know, he would say figure it out.

My dad never really what do you say what do you call the word coddled me like like as his baby girl or you know he i if there was something that I needed to do

He didn't just and now there were things he would do for me.

I'm not saying he didn't do anything for me, but um what I'm saying is it like just just life lessons.

He would say figure it out, you know, and um

I don't care whether it was from cleaning the house to cleaning my car, getting my oil changed on my car, um, whatever it was.

Um, you know, I'm thankful that when I moved to Louisville 15 years ago, I don't have any family here

You know, I figured it out pretty much.

And if I didn't know the answer, I'd call my dad and say, What do I do?

Yeah.

And you know, he would guide me and then I'd figure it out from there.

But um

You know, um it's uh you know facing adversity.

You hear that word all the time.

Um my dad talked a lot about it.

I never really looked at that word.

You know, when bad things happen or um you know, whatever the case is, misfortunes, you know, rising back up from whatever hits you.

Yeah.

And, you know, finding

the the positivity in life, finding the joy in life.

There's always gonna be negativity.

There's always gonna be bad things around us, but

You know, our loved ones that pass, for instance, they don't want us to focus on all of that.

You know, what's the point?

Um I'm gonna there are moments where it's gonna, you know, hit me.

My dad's not here.

I mean, it happens all the time

But at the end of the day, like when you started the podcast, when you started talking today, I just started smiling.

And then when you started playing that clip, like the intro clip, and then I heard my dad

All I could do was just take my hand and just put it in the air and say, yeah, that's that's that's what he would I know that's what he would want me to do right now.

And um, you know, that uh that's what I'm gonna keep doing

So um, you know, I uh I'm just thankful that I had some I had the best life coach for 40 years of my life.

Yeah.

Let me tell you.

Oh yeah.

So part of you know part of part of the whole idea of you know reflecting back at the year and looking at it so we can move forward is we have to know

as as we we heard in the clip, we have to know where we're at.

And I think we've we've established pretty well we know

where we're at.

We're at a point where we've we figured out we here's where we're at, here's where we've gotten to, and now we've got to look forward and we've got to set goals under where we want to be.

And the next three questions that that Mel proposes kind of kind of do that and and and help to find that way forward.

Like what is it, you know, what what are how do you create your goals?

How do you set them up?

So that next question is this.

Question number four.

What are you going to stop doing in the next year?

So the idea is

What behaviors, what habits, what commitments, what what mindsets do we currently have that no longer serve us, that no longer help us to move forward?

And

That's a tough one for so many people.

And that it's it was tough for me to set and and to think about it.

Um I did have one that just jumped right out at me.

Uh because we all have that one quirk that that we know

We just need to stop.

We just don't.

And for me, it was the use of sarcasm

I'm the king of sarcasm.

Um some people would even, you know, even take it as far as to say that I gaslight people.

And I I all the time I will I will

Make a comment to something that my wife says and she goes, You're doing it.

And I know what she means

And I know that I need to stop.

You know, that's that's a big one for me in in my relationships with people and how I talk to them and how I I handle things.

And I've been that way for my whole life.

So it's not an easy thing to just stop doing, but I have to make sure that I'm aware of it and that I can, I can, I can stop doing those things.

You know, same thing at work.

There are times at work that I procrastinate because I just don't want to fix certain things because it takes too long and it's annoying and I don't want to do it.

And I can't continue to be that way

So I have to, you know, professionally move forward in that I've got to have a little more motivation.

in in what I do.

I've got to stop the procrastination with with some of the things I take care of in in my daily work, uh working for the school system in the technology department.

Um, what are some things that, you know, you've you've seen and I'd been able to identify, Liz, that you've got to stop doing in this next year?

Um, you know

Well, you just hit procrastination.

That's for sure something that I struggle with on a day-to-day basis.

Um, I'll get things done

But um, you know, like right now I I keep going home and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna steam my floors.

And I'm like, eh, I'll do it tomorrow.

You know, it's just little things like that.

Um

You know, uh, just to make my life easier.

It's always makes you feel better when you walk in and you're like, Oh, my floor's clean.

My floor is not dirty, dirty, but

Um, you know, it's just uh taking the time to actually do the project that you need to do.

I need to go through

you know, clean my closet out.

Um, you know, that's just just the procrastination and all of that.

Um, it's not a big deal, but it drives me crazy.

And um, you know, one of the things that I've noticed, especially over the last few years,

Um I don't know if it's you know why we're on social media a lot and you see

you know, all these content creators on there and different people doing different things and everybody's posting their entire lives on there and um, you know, you just start to kind of um

I don't want to say well you know you whether you compare yourself to others, you doubt yourself, whatever the case is.

This this coming year I have no fear.

I want to tell you that right now.

The fear has been wiped away.

You know, I am ready to go.

I don't care.

I don't know where this year's gonna lead.

You know, we're doing s I've I've I'm trying new things I've never done before.

So, um, you know, that limited mindset

of I can't do that, or I'm not good enough to do that.

Like it's gone.

I'm done.

I don't care what it is.

If I want to do it, I'm gonna figure out a way to do it.

So um I hope that made sense.

No, it did.

Yeah, it completely does.

I was sorry, I was distracted for a second.

I had a Facebook message I was looking at, sorry.

Um so

Another thing to stop doing.

Pay more attention.

Stay focused on the task at hands.

Multitasking is a myth.

I have a whole episode written out for that one.

I actually did one.

Multitasking is a myth.

So you know, stop trying to multitask.

I need to s that's that's another thing I can add to my list.

But that takes that takes us forward though into into the next question.

that uh was was pushed out there uh from male and it's this.

Question number five.

What do you guys start doing

So what are you going to start doing?

The idea is what new habits, what new practices, what new actions are going to help

in moving forward.

And not just moving forward for the sake of moving forward, moving forward with a purpose.

Why in the world do we do this?

We have to have a reason for it.

You know, for me, I've got to start to be more reflective.

I've got to look at things and look back at things.

I've got to, you know, not just say, oh, this is great.

Why was it great?

Why did this whatever, this project we did at work, what was the positive thing that came out of it?

What did we do?

What did we accomplish with it?

Not just, hey, we got it done.

Um

Same thing with podcasting.

You know, what's what's the point of what's the point of what we're doing?

What is the point of this episode?

Did we accomplish what we set out to do?

Did we help people to think?

Did we change someone in some way for the better?

Those are the kind of things I've got to be more reflective about.

I've also got to make more time for certain people in my life.

And I know that I haven't, and I've got to do a better job of it.

My wife is a very patient lady, and I love her dearly, but I know there's times she's thinking I need more time with him.

And I've got to start doing that.

And I don't know if she'll listen to this and hear it, but I'm I'm making the public statement that I'm going to do that.

That I have to do.

And I have to do the same thing for my son.

You know, my son doesn't live with us.

He lives with his mother and he's, you know

twenty I think it's like twenty-seven miles away or whatever it is, um, down in Huntington.

And I need to make sure that my time with him is

More valuable, more meaningful.

Things I have to start doing because though, you know, my time with him is is limited dramatically right now because of the way the situation is.

He lives down there, I live up here.

Um, he's graduating high school in May, the end of May.

And he's he in June turns eighteen and he's an adult and he's gonna be

you know, starting out in the world in in ways that I don't know if he's prepared for it or not.

I hope he is.

He's got a good head on his shoulders.

He does great in everything he does.

But

I have to I have to make sure that I'm I'm available for him in in those things and the things I have to start doing.

At work, the same, you know, the same thing is I have to be

I have to be available and ready at any time.

Um, because you just never know it's in technology, you just never know when something's gonna go crazy.

You never know when somebody's gonna break something and someone will always break something.

Um and you have to I have to be ready to to drop what I'm doing and go fix it and go or or go work on it.

Maybe not fix it, but at least figure out what the problem is so we can find a way to fix it.

Um, those are things I look at.

Um, you know, and the b the big one is in the next year, I have to

buckle down and change the way I've done things for the past several years.

You know, my wife and I have lived with with my father-in-law for since we got married.

Um and with his passing, we now have to

We have to change the way we do things.

Um, we have to change the way that certain things are taken care of and and done, and we're we are in that process.

Um but I know it's gotta be a big change that we have to do.

Um, that we have to we have to make these things happen.

So what is it that that you're going to start doing?

I know you you mentioned a little bit there a second ago, but what what kind of things are you gonna start doing?

for this next year, Liz?

Um one of the things that I thought of, of course I printed off your sheet here and kind of went through it mentally and wrote a few things down um just so I had my notes.

in front of me, but you know, one of the things that um I don't know if you find yourself doing this, but just going through the motions um in life, we we kind of get stuck in ruts, but one of the things that

I really want to focus on is being more present in my everyday life.

You know, and um you know, today is all we have.

Um, you know, it's a gift, that's why they call it the present.

My dad's favorite line.

Um

You know, uh one of the things I noticed um going back through my pictures um, you know, in that exercise we were talking about um from Mel Robbins, um

Is I, you know, the first few months I really didn't there wasn't many pictures of me and uh realized I'm like I was kind of numb

to things uh at the beginning of the year last year because I was dealing with some um I don't want to say health issues, but um I had some

kind of mystery symptoms that I was trying to figure out and I didn't feel real well.

I go through phases from like what's wrong.

I had these heartburn issues that just kind of kind of

happened and I really think it was more from the stress of it happened um after I took my dad to MD Anderson.

Um

And I came back and we started kind of going through some lawsuit stuff dealing with his health issues and I just got really angry because I realized, you know

Hey, like my dad should not he should have never gotten stage four colon cancer number one.

But anyway, um, you know, uh it kind of cultivated and I think the symptoms that I was having was from the anger I was dealing with

And the stress of it all.

And I went through months of just um you know, going I did multiple tests of trying to figure out what was

going on my doctor thought it might be my gallbladder so um it went through like six months of of testing and came back nothing okay which made me feel good but I'm like what is causing this I'm still having the symptoms but

Going through those pictures, I really was kind of numb to a lot during that time period.

I wasn't really focusing on, you know uh

being present in my life.

You know, I can tell when I look through my photos, like where I started being more present, I looked more happy.

I started taking more pictures.

You know, I had pictures with other people, um, you know, going to see my nieces, um, being around them.

Um, you know, so uh

It I don't know.

I just definitely, like I said, I just thought I'd be more present and uh pay attention to the things that matter the most and um

you know.

You don't you don't want to feel like life passed you by.

You want to feel like you were a part of it.

Yeah.

Total totally understand that.

Because I I've I've been there.

I've I've I've I've had that same that same exact

you know, that feeling about things.

Um it's you know, part of the reason my life changed dramatically several years ago and I went through a divorce and everything is I guess I

I checked out.

I wasn't present.

And and I know that.

And um I completely can understand, you know, your your thoughts on that and wanting to start making sure

you're being present.

Because if we don't pay attention to the things around us, we will miss those as I talked about them earlier, those little small wins.

We'll just miss them because we don't we're not we're not in the moment to know they've happened.

And that's one way we will make sure we have 'em.

You know, it's funny.

Um one of the things that really helps me the most uh with

topics like this is um I actually go to a l a lady here in Louisville for Reiki, which is like energy work.

I don't know if you've ever

heard of that or um a lot of if you go to a massage therapist or m like some sometimes they practice Reiki, but you'll have to look it up and read about it.

It's really it's just kind of interesting to explain.

Um but um she showed me this book

It's by a woman.

Um, her name's Louise Hay.

And of course she has since passed away, but um it's an intern international bestseller.

Um it's called You Can Heal Your Life.

And one of the things, um, it's it's a really just phenomenal tool to use because she has all these affirmations in the book.

And it's so funny when I was going through like

the um heartburn issues last year.

Um, you know, there's an affirmate whatever your physical symptom is

Um, pretty much like it all comes down to um, you know, it really you you don't w we we ha a lot of times when we we have these symptoms

You know, there's a reason why they manifest in our body.

And a lot of times, you know, our thought we start thinking of something, we you know, uh an emotion is created and then a symptom comes off of that.

So for instance, like she has these affirmations that you can read

Say you're having heartburn issues, there's an affirmation in that book that you can continue to read that it helps you start thinking differently and kind of retrains your thoughts.

And um, you know, whatever kind of

You know, sh it's the longest list ever.

I've gone through it so many times, and it's fascinating because it really helps.

And um, you know, I had never seen anything like that before.

I've seen affirmations, but um

You know, that's been a really great tool for me in um just being bringing me back to the present state.

you know, working through some of the uh fun things we have to deal with on a day-to-day basis that aren't so great.

So we have two questions left and this next one goes right along with those last two we've had

What are we going to stop doing?

What are we going to start doing?

And this was the question that followed those up from Mel Robbins.

Number six.

What are you going to continue doing in the next year?

So it makes you think, what you know, what what have I been doing that actually works and I want to keep doing?

I want to keep trying to to make sure that these things have

have helped my life move forward and everything.

And for me, now, like I, you know, you just talked about how that you're going to start being in the present.

And for me, that's what I'm going to keep doing.

I'm going to try to be in the present as I have for the last year, trying to make sure that I'm I'm grounded into what's happening around me, that I'm connected.

to those people who are around me.

And like I said, I gotta start doing that more, but I've been doing that to an extent.

So I want to keep that going.

I want to keep working.

I want to keep doing my job.

You know, a lot of people look at what I'm doing um outside of work with

with the podcasting I do.

I do three podcasts a week right now.

So I'm I'm a busy I'm I'm busy with that in a lot of ways.

But

I don't look at it as this is an exit strategy.

I don't look at it as this is what I'm doing to move myself away from that.

I'm going to keep working because I like my job.

I love what I do.

I love working in technology.

I love working in the schools.

I miss teaching kids every day.

And people hear me say that and they're shocked.

But I miss the interaction with the kids.

I wish I had that more, but I still get it by being present in the school, by being there and physically working on things and interacting with them when I'm doing so

If you just ignore them and act like they're not there, it doesn't serve a purpose.

You know, we got a lot of kids who are interested in in trying to find out, well, what is it you're doing?

What do you have to do to fix that?

And I'll talk to them about it and and walk them through the process of what it is I have to do

So being present in situations is one thing that I'm going to keep doing because it's worked for me in the situations where I've done it.

Outside of that, I really don't

That thing jumped out at me.

Um, I mean, I'm gonna keep podcasting.

I can include that if I really wanted to.

Um, because it's it's it's my hobby.

It's my I don't want to say escape, but it's my way of

of getting ideas and things out there and and sharing knowledge and sharing thoughts uh in a way that helps me in moving forward and

and and and building up my own influence and my identity and the things online.

So what is it what is it you're gonna keep doing that you've been doing already, Liz?

Um, one of the things, well, two th well, yeah.

Um you know, I my mindset is and of course my dad was like this as well.

He was always continuously learning and trying to grow as a human being.

And that is that's just how I am.

as well and that's why we got along so well.

We would call each other and just bounce ideas off and talk about things and I'd see something that called I'd say, Dad, you need to check this out.

be like, okay, order it for me, whatever it is, you know, or he called me in the same thing and um, you know, we were always just we just had that same mindset.

Um but um, you know, one of the things I wanna keep keep is learning and growing as a human being.

Um

You know, I just turned forty in July and I think one of the other reasons we were talking about some of the mundane things of this past year.

Um

The months leading up to July, I was kind of not looking forward to turning forty.

And I think that happens to a lot of people, especially women.

Um

But one of the things I've realized, you know, um since I turned forty and especially, you know, since my dad's passing, is

40, the 40s are gonna be my best decade yet.

I'm not stopping, I'm gonna keep on going, and I am going to sp keep, you know, like I said, I'm gonna spread my dad's messages.

I'm gonna add value to people's lives

And um, you know, that is my goal.

And whatever I gotta do to do that, you know, that's what we're gonna do here.

And all the things that I'm learning from you, um I

I like I said, there's still a lot to learn.

Uh you're definitely the expert on all of these things, but I know um and let me tell you something else that's funny.

I actually down I didn't realize that on my iPhone that when I said Siri

Um uh use chat GPT.

Like something came up the other day and I was able to use ChatGPT that way, and I said, holy cow, I didn't even know I could use it that way.

So then I downloaded the app

on my phone yesterday, the day before, and I've been typing things in when I want to know how to put something together or do something a certain way.

I'm like

Oh my god, I'm obsessed with this.

It's a powerful tool.

It is just I I can't even I I don't I what?

Because when you s like some of the things that you do

And you send to me, it blows me away.

I'm like, what in the world?

Oh, like um what you know, what with with what we're heading toward next here on the show.

You know, you sent me a a single one page

of notes your dad had written.

And I took those notes and I took the picture of it and I s stuck it on ChatGPT and said, hey, transcribe this for me

These are notes that were written by Coach Jim Clayton, gave it some info, background info, and it transcribed them.

So I had them in text rather than just the image

And from there, I could go, based on these, what kind of ideas can we come up with for potential podcast episodes?

And it gives me ideas and it lays them out.

And from there, I can then start looking elsewhere and finding resources and bring that back in and and expand those ideas.

Like, oh, well, let's add this.

and and build some stuff off of this.

And it makes it, you know, it's such a powerful thing that a lot of people are afraid of for some reason.

I don't I don't really get.

You know, this is not

This is not the uprising with the everybody with the computers taking over like in Terminator.

That's not what's happening.

But there are people that are afraid that's what's happening.

Um, I do have to say one more thing.

Um, this just kinda dawned on me.

Um, you know, when it comes to

When you try some new things, sometimes you don't really know how it's gonna go.

And, you know, I've had um you know, I've watched my dad on social media um for all these years, you know, creating content and

You know, every time I would see him, he'd be on his phone, you know, doing something new on there, you know, posting something new, a new message.

And um

You know, one of the things I was blown away with after he passed away was everybody that came up to me or messaged me or or however I talked to them.

They all had a positive thing to say about my dad and how he impacted their life.

Yeah.

And there was always a story behind it.

And so, you know, um

when I was motivated to kind of start that Monday post that I've been doing, Believe, Achieve, Motivate Monday, I was a little I was like, uh it just kind of came to me.

No one really I I I uh you know, I I no one really said anything.

Hey you should do that, whatever, but

I just started going through my dad's phone and um I'm like, wow, there's a lot of stuff here.

Like he has a lot of stuff to say.

And um, you know, I as I've been doing that and um

You know, one of the things I've all the encouragement that I've gotten from so many people through the the comments on the posts, uh them sending me direct messages or however.

It's really uplifted me and made me realize that I gotta keep doing this.

And um, you know, it it has given me a level of confidence

It's not about me, but it's about adding value to other people.

And um like we talked about and

It is the goal and but it has just done something to me when I like I I'm sh I know you saw this, but um when I I did a video, was it last week?

I was out in the middle of the court at Sports City and um

You know, I I I watched my dad talk a million times from that spot.

And I just went out in his little stool and I just sat there and I talked one time into that camera.

And um

It I did the video and I watched it and I thought, I gotta post this.

Like I think it it and I've had so many people come up to me in my personal life and say, that really impacted me.

And that's done it it's not about me, like I said, but it's people want authenticity and they want real

realness that, you know, and i there's so much fake people put stuff on social media and there's so much it's like a um

facade, you know, uh their their life is a facade, but they they make it look so perfect.

But people want realness.

They want to see real things.

And um

You know, that's what I'm gonna try to keep doing and uh I feel like that's what we're doing here.

We're being authentic and we're just talking and I really hope that people will stick with us and continue to uh Oh yeah, we we have we have notes, but they are not very detailed notes.

No.

No, no.

Here's the question.

Let's talk about it.

So it's and it's gone well.

You know, I'm not gonna lie.

Uh, you know how you would just let my dad fly off the handle?

Uh-huh.

I don't know if we caught fly off the handle, but you really didn't have you you would just say what what were your notes?

That's all that's that was it.

It's so funny when I'm reading your notes here and I'm like, I don't really know what I want to say there.

I'm like, you know what, I'm just gonna let it fly.

I'm gonna be like my dad.

I'm just gonna let it fly and let it come out the way it's supposed to.

And there are times I you know I write things down and do stuff, but um I'm like I'm just channeling my inner

you know, Jimmy Clayton here on some of these.

And I I know something good's gonna come out regardless.

So anyway, um

We went off on a tangental.

Question number seven.

What can you do today to take that first step now that you have a set of directions?

So the idea is to that

Focus on something that's practical, something that's achievable, something you can do right now that you can take and make that step forward.

And I you know, I talked about, you know, being more reflective.

I talked about that and, you know, a a an easy step I can take is

On, I don't know if anybody's ever noticed or not, but on the iPhone, there's an actual journal app.

You may have to, I think it's installed by default.

You may have to go get it from the App Store, but Apple has a journal app.

And throughout your day as the phone is tracking what you've done, like where you've been, your location and stuff like that with different services

At the end of the day, you'll get a message that pops up, a notification, and it says, Hey, you had dinner here.

How was that?

And it wants you to write, you know, just write something about it.

I need to start

being more reflective and actually doing it.

Taking the time.

I can start that tonight.

I can sit down and I can open that up and I can go.

Today, how was today?

We had a great church service this morning.

It was amazing.

Um, great lesson from our teacher.

Talk about that.

Had a great conversation with Liz for the podcast, recorded it, have it, you know, just need to sit down and edit it and get it ready to go.

Just reflect on the day.

So I have a record of what did I do?

My wife is the best at this, and I am not, but I know that it can make a change.

I know that it can help me to move forward.

You know, other little things.

I'm, you know, I it I I'm open about, you know, my my my personal beliefs, my religion, my cr I'm a Christian, and that, you know, I'm I do a b a Bible podcast every week and I study for that.

And I study the lessons and stuff we have at church, but I don't do a lot outside of that.

And I've got to do a better job.

And I'm going to start doing that.

And I've already started doing that.

I, you know, for Christmas, I I had a list of potential

you know, gift ideas that I shared with family members and I got two different you know devotional books and I've got a cut or a couple other ones, things that I can look at daily to help me

to focus myself with that to move forward and to build my relationship I have with God.

Um, and which in turn would then help me with my other goals and building my relationships and doing a better job with other people as well

So those are things I can steps I can take today, things I can do right now that I can help move forward for the year.

What about you, Liz?

Well, you know, one of um my goals, of course, and I hope, you know, you and I can work together on this, um

you know, with with starting this podcast, um, you know, I really want to learn more about that and take steps to, you know, grow this and get, you know

better at this and I know you said you're not much of a video guy but my goal is to get you on video.

We're gonna work on that.

Come on.

Hey, I did you st I I'm not gonna lie

You know, one of the things I've noticed, um, I know I've told you this, you know, when it comes to, you know, um seeing things on social media, when you put yourself out there, people pay attention.

They do

They do pay attention.

I uh hey, you know, um, but I just want to try that.

I want to see what it's like.

Um but really growing this podcast and seeing what we can do with it.

You know, that was my dad's goal, and I know you guys talked about it.

um and you know taking steps to to learn more about the things that you, you know, do and and put together for this.

Um

Um, because I'm still I'm still like an infant here.

I don't I don't know.

I can talk, but and you set up this equipment for me, but um, you know, I've got a lot to learn.

So, um, you know, I have goals in that.

And um, you know, just just uh I'm kind of learning a little bit about social media right now.

Uh there's some different things I'm gonna do to just learn more about that.

And um

It's fascinating because I was listening to a girl the other day.

She was talking about content, content creators and just the the blow up of that and how, you know, it's all we do every day is scroll, scroll, scroll.

And you know, we're constantly influenced by, you know, content creation.

And so, you know, I'm gonna kind of look into that.

And my dad was already doing it, to be honest with you.

And so, you know, I just want to add value to people's lives in any way that I can and share some of the fun things and the cool things that I

you know, do or know about.

Um, one of the things that um I'm very passionate about is having healthy habits in my life.

And um

You know, uh I've just I started sharing those things recently.

I just started posting them on my story.

I'm like if I have something here that might help somebody or you know, it's something I'm using or whatever the case is, I'm gonna I'm gonna put it on there

And show people.

Um, you know, uh maybe it can help them.

Maybe they might have questions.

If I don't know the answer, I know somebody who does.

Right.

Um or we can find someone who does.

We can find somebody who, yeah, who does.

That's exactly right.

Um

But uh but yeah, um I mean just having the mindset to grow in general, you know, that's huge because people get so stagnant in their life.

And um that's I'm so thankful

that if there's anything I got for my dad, it's that a growth mindset.

And we all have stagnant periods in our life.

And this past year was kind of stagnant for me, I'm not gonna lie

until the last three months, since my dad's passing, you know, and listening to you guys in the podcast, that that instilled something in me and um, you know

Uh my inspiration is my dad from this point on in my life.

And I'm everything I do, I'm gonna do for him.

And that's it can only be good.

That's all I can say.

Um, so you know, um

I hope that helps.

Yeah.

So as as we finish up these questions, I want to I want to take the time to encourage anybody who's listening.

to go through these seven questions, reflect on these things yourselves.

And to make that easier for you, we have a printable worksheet that has those questions as well as a closing reflection question at the end for you.

You can get that very easily by heading over to our website, shootingitstraightpodcast.

com slash zero one eight.

That will take you directly to the page for this episode.

And on that page, embedded in the page, you will see this worksheet that you can download.

I encourage you, please walk through this process.

Think about these things.

And and try to have the best year you've ever had moving forward.

That's the goal and what we're doing.

And we've made that available to you for free.

I took the time to create that.

and put it together and it's posted and ready to go for you.

So please check that out.

And if you if you if you feel it out and you come across some things, you you have some thoughts on it, you have some breakthroughs from it.

Head over there on the website.

There's a contact form there where you can quickly send us an email.

There's also a voicemail option there.

You can record a message and send it to us.

And you can even post in the comments section on the post for this episode so that people can see that on the website and share it.

But that brings us up now to

as I call it, my favorite, favorite segment I ever created for a podcast.

And we're going to pull something out of the archives here with this one.

But this is now time.

For our wisdom of the week.

Now it's time for our wisdom of the week, where we pull some type of quote, some statement, and use it as a way to help you move forward with what you're doing.

in your daily life.

And this week, our wisdom of the week, Liz, you sent to me, and this is a clip.

of your dad.

The whole point of this segment was originally to share just your dad's Jimmyisms, as I called them.

So here's here's here's the clip of your dad and then we'll we'll start talking about it.

Coach Jim Clayton: I don't look at you the way you are.

Coach Jim Clayton: I look at you the way you could be.

Coach Jim Clayton: I'm watching you.

Coach Jim Clayton: I'm thinking, man, if she could do this

Coach Jim Clayton: She could be so much better.

Coach Jim Clayton: Today we have opportunity.

Coach Jim Clayton: Tomorrow we have opportunity to take those things I saw and turn them into reality.

Coach Jim Clayton: When people miss opportunities, they miss out.

Coach Jim Clayton: You can't make up opportunity.

Coach Jim Clayton: And the window of opportunity doesn't open itself.

Coach Jim Clayton: You have to open it.

Coach Jim Clayton: We're not interested in activity.

Coach Jim Clayton: We're interested in productivity.

Coach Jim Clayton: What are we going to do to make you a better player

Coach Jim Clayton: And you a better player and you a better player.

Coach Jim Clayton: Because the best way to improve your team is to improve your player.

Coach Jim Clayton: If your players don't get any better news flash, neither does your team

So that the clip here with your dad reminds us that improvement actually starts with vision.

It's not just about seeing people.

or seeing ourselves uh as we are, but we have to see people and ourselves as what we could be.

And it's exactly what these seven reflection questions that we've gone through are meant to do

They're not about replaying the past year for nostalgia or or for reasons of regret.

They're about taking an honest look at where you've been and deciding how you want to show up next.

And that's powerful.

And one of the central ideas in this clip from Coach Clayton is that lasting improvement doesn't begin with the systems.

It doesn't begin with the teams.

And it doesn't begin with the circumstances.

It begins with individuals.

If you want better outcomes in your relationships, in your work, in your leadership, in your influence,

The starting point is always the same.

It's about personal growth.

That's why it matters to reflect on your highlights, on your struggles, and on the lessons that you've learned.

Not to beat yourself up, but to gain clarity about what needs to change.

But insight alone, it isn't enough

Opportunity, as he said, doesn't open itself.

You have to open it.

Reflection creates awareness for you.

But improvement, it requires a decision on your part.

Choosing what you're going to stop doing, what you're going to start doing, and what you're going to continue doing is how reflection turns into real progress.

Otherwise, it's easy to stay busy without actually moving forward.

And here's the truth we sometimes avoid.

If you don't grow, the things connected to you, they don't grow either.

Your relationships, your work, your leadership, your influence, they all rise or fall with your willingness to improve

Don't rush through these questions.

Treat them like a personal development plan.

Shoot it straight with yourself.

Yeah, see, I got the show name in there.

Take action on what you see.

And watch how intentional growth begins to shape everything and sometimes everyone that is around you

What do you think, Liz?

Oh gosh.

I just love that um I've heard him say that many times.

Um and um

You know, one of the things I loved about my dad so much was, you know, no matter of all the people he knew and he dealt with through the years, there were some people that

Maybe didn't make the best decisions or, you know, didn't come from the best home life or whatever the case was.

You know, he was the most least judgmental person I've ever met.

And I don't care what anybody said, did this, that, and the other, my dad would always turn around and shake your hand or he would try to do something to help you.

And um

you know, a lot of the people over the years that I um, you know, n knew through my dad and through it through Sports City, um

you know, some of those people, you know, it's easy for other people to judge them and say they're this, that, and the other.

Um

You know, uh, like I said, when he says this quote, like it just hits me every time.

You know, if everybody looked at the world this way

What you know, what kind of world would that be?

Yeah.

You know, it would be such a a better place.

Um, you know, we focus so much on the negative side of things and you know, we look at people so negatively and

You know, for the most part, we judge people, this, that, and the other.

You know, um, if we could look at it from this perspective, you know, how much better will we all be as a society and as a, you know, as people?

Um

And there's opportunities everywhere, you know?

And um that's one of the things that I've kind of struggled with and, you know, especially in the last year, is just feeling stagnant and um

You know, that's that's definitely gonna change this year.

I've got things to do and um you know uh my dad has fueled that fire, that's for sure.

Nice.

And he's gonna continue to fuel that fire and I know he he you know, you feel the same way in that regard a little bit.

it um so um anyway uh when i hear that that video it just does something to me every single time and i i hope to you know continue

you know, that outlook in life and dealing with people and um, you know, spreading that positivity and that joy, especially when people need it.

You know, you don't know what people are dealing with and struggling with daily.

Exactly.

And it's not our it's not our job to judge them.

It's our job to help them if we can.

Exactly.

And um, you know, that's my goal.

And um, you know, I hope we can spread hope in what we're doing here too.

So um anyway, I just I just love that quote when he says it.

Yeah.

Gives me chills

We're going to close things up here on this episode.

And the thing to remember to look at and remember is reflection is one of the most underrated tools we have for growth.

So take a few minutes this week to answer these questions honestly.

And I'm I'm I'm 100% sure that you'll thank yourself later for it.

Here's to looking back with clarity and stepping into the next year with courage, focus, and straight talk.

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Shooting it straight.

Coach Jim Clayton: Bam son.