Courage is for the Hard Times

Coach Clayton used to say, you don't need courage when everything's easy.

You only need it when life gets tough.

It's in those moments when life pushes back against you.

That we see what kind of courage we really have.

As his daughter, I saw that courage up close, both on the court and in everyday life

Today, we're talking about how courage shows up in the big moments and the small ones.

This is courage is for the hard times today on shooting it straight.

Coach Jim Clayton: You know, believe in yourself.

Coach Jim Clayton: Or nobody else will.

Coach Jim Clayton: Set the bar high, achieve greatness, and stay motivated through the process.

Coach Jim Clayton: You know what that spells?

Coach Jim Clayton: BAM, son!

This is Shooting It Straight, the podcast where life lessons don't come sugar-coated and excuses get checked at the door.

Randy Black, podcast guy, educator, and resident technique.

And apparently, still the only one here who doesn't yell bam, son, in public.

And I'm Elizabeth Clayton, stepping into some big shoes, ready to ask the tough questions, call it like it is, and

Maybe even challenge Randy a little along the way.

Each week, we're taking what life teaches us.

The discipline, the drive, the lessons you can't just read in a book, and translating it into real-world success.

That's right.

This is about showing up.

when life gets messy, pushing through when the pressure's on, and figuring out how to get better, no matter what.

And if you're looking for fluff, this probably isn't your show.

We're here to help you believe bigger, achieve louder, and motivate stronger.

So buckle up and whatever

Whatever you do, keep shooting it straight.

Bam son.

Life doesn't come with a playbook.

And courage is rarely needed when everything's going smoothly in life.

It's in the moments when life pushes back

When the plans fall apart, when the fear sets in, or challenges feel bigger than we are, that we discover what courage really means.

I've faced moments like that in my life where it would be easier to give up than to keep going.

But courage, it isn't about not feeling fear.

It's about choosing to step forward anyway, even when the outcome is uncertain.

I've had the privilege of seeing courage up close through my dad, Coach Clayton.

watching him navigate life's challenges, both the big public moments and the quiet everyday decisions.

And that taught me that courage isn't always dramatic or visible.

It's in the choices we make when no one else is watching, in staying true to our values, and in stepping forward even when it's hard.

Seeing him live that out has shaped the way I think about courage in my own life.

And it's a perspective I want to share with our listeners today.

So today.

We're going to explore courage in three ways.

First, we're going to look at how it emerges when life gets tough.

The moments that test us and reveal our true strength.

Second, what we can learn from experiences that challenges through reflection and the decisions we make in the face of that adversity

And then third, how to carry courage into our daily lives, into the small but meaningful choices that shape our character

and define who it is that we become.

By the end of this episode, we hope that you'll see that courage isn't just for big dramatic moments.

It's something we practice every single day.

And it's what helps us keep moving forward even when life is hard.

So let's start at the beginning.

Let's start with the hard moments.

Those times when life pushes back.

When fear shows up.

That's when courage really gets tested.

How do we face the tough stuff

And what does that look like in real life?

Well, let's break that down.

We've got five points here that walk our way through that.

The first is that courage is revealed in difficult situations.

A lot of times we find that courage manifests itself in small, quiet ways that go unnoticed.

Because we all have those difficult situations, we just don't always realize how difficult they were at the time.

Let's think about it.

You're having a conversation with a friend or a family member.

And we've all done that, right, Liz?

Mm-hmm.

You're having that conversation with them.

And you have to tell them something.

And you know it's not going to go well.

Does that take courage?

Mm-hmm.

Very much so.

You have a relationship and we I'm married on my second marriage.

You you have Mike.

So we have we have these situations, these relationships.

And in those relationships, we sometimes have to set boundaries.

Those aren't always the easiest things to do.

Nope.

We oftentimes see things happen in the world around us.

And we have to decide, are we going to stand up and do the right thing?

Or are we going to just let it go?

It takes courage.

And one that a lot of people don't think about in having courage is in your ability to just keep your commitments.

Sometimes that takes courage.

Got that right.

When you when you get in these situations, do you always know that you're having to pull from that inner strength, that courage you have?

No.

And it's something we don't always realize.

Like think about it.

Liz, if there's there ever been a moment

When in your life something happened and you've looked back on it and now you think, man, that took a lot of courage.

And I didn't even realize it at the time

Oh yeah.

Um actually I was trying to think of something that was uh monumental in my life that took a lot of courage when we started talking about, you know

As we're sitting here, you know, talking about everything and uh one of the things that came into my mind was uh of course this was a long time ago, but um when in between my junior and senior year of high school

Um of course I was that summer I was in the gym with my dad, you know, every day pretty much.

Uh he had a different camp

Every week, every weekend, and um that particular time frame, I was thinking about transferring schools.

Because I just I had the chance to play with a lot of different girls from different schools, you know, at Sports City and they were like, why don't you come play at our school?

Back in the day of before you you weren't supposed to recruit, but you you did um in public schools.

So anyway, I remember um

I remember waiting the entire summer.

And I remember about two weeks before school started, my dad goes, What are you gonna do?

I said, I'm going.

I'm doing it.

I'm ready to go.

And of course I could drive at that time.

I was actually I turned um

What was that?

Uh that particular summer, I guess I was I was a year like younger than everybody in my class.

So at that point I was able to drive, and that was my dad main my dad's main concern.

I could I had to drive myself wherever I went

So anyway, um my dad goes, he called, he he set it all up.

Well, he calls me one day and he goes, they denied your transfer.

I said, what?

And I g you know, the everybody knew my dad, everybody knew me, and they're like, why what what is she wanting to transfer from Huntington High to Hamlin in Lincoln County?

What is the deal with that?

Big difference and uh, you know, academically too, and of course, you know, everybody probably knew why, but you know, so anyway, that particular day, I think it was on a Tuesday

And um my dad, I was like, What are you gonna do about it?

And my dad goes, There's a board meeting tonight.

Well, he had Sports City that evening

And um Benny Thompson was the person, I guess, that was over that at the time, if you knew that name back then.

I think that was his name.

Thomas.

Benny Thomas.

Thomas Thomas, yep.

So anyway, I said, well

I guess I'm gonna have to go to that board meeting by myself and I'm gonna have to corner him somewhere and tell him like you better you know I I h you know I'm not gonna be here on the first day of school, so you better accept my transfer

Bud.

And so I remember I went down there, had to go through the whole meeting and listen to all this stuff.

And then at the end I went up to him like, hey, I'm so-and-so, and he knew who I was and I told him

My little spe my little spiel of what I was doing and the next day they called and said, You can go.

And um, like I said, going from

you know, something I've known my entire life.

All the kids I went to school with, my I drove to school with my dad every day, you know, and basically going to a foreign place.

I knew some people, but

You know, um, it was a big deal.

And um, so anyway, that really took a lot of courage.

And looking back, I'm really glad that I did that.

because I learned a lot.

I met a whole group of of new people and I'm still friends with those people to this day.

And we had our twenty year reunion, what like two years ago.

And um we were a small class, but I remember getting together with some of those like seven, eight, nine people, and it was like, you know, tw you know, no time had passed.

It was fantastic.

So um I'm really thankful that I did that, but it I was scared at the time.

I pushed through that.

Yeah.

So anyway

I mean, I I I, you know, my own life, the most courageous thing I think I ever did was when I finally

Packed my things and left from my first marriage.

Um I was scared.

The fear hit me.

I felt like I'd failed.

And I packed my stuff and I left and I went to my parents' house.

Um It was tough.

It was hard because I was leaving behind, you know, almost 16 years.

of living with this person and being married to them and leaving behind my son to live with his mother.

Um

You know, it was it was one of the toughest moments of my life.

And it it I look back at it and I know that it was ultimately the best thing I could do because the situation had gotten

So rough, and I use that as just a clarifier without going into details, it was so rough that it was it was a situation that like the change had to occur.

And we both knew that and we finally had hit the point where we had to do it.

Um the pressure of that, um, it was it was finally at its breaking point and it finally took me just saying

I give in, I'm done.

And I left.

And it was it was, like I said, one of the toughest things I ever did.

And I look back at it and realized that that fear of what was happening, of the change that was occurring.

That it took so much courage on my part to to own up to the situation and say, you know what?

I'm partially at fault here too, and I need to walk away.

And I did.

So, you know, courage, courage reveals itself to us in those difficult situations when we hit them.

You know, there's something about difficulty.

When it hits us in life, and it forces us to show up more honestly than we might normally

And my example is a is perfect of that because I had to own up to my own shortcomings in the situation and own it to be able to move on.

It forced me to to examine myself and to reveal the character that I wanted to have, not the character I was displaying.

So it changed things there for me.

But

Courage also, um, in ways, it it's it's the hardships we face that bring that out that exposes our strengths.

Not our weaknesses.

And a lot of people look at that and they think that that having courage is because you're trying to overcome the weakness.

But it's not

It's that you're stepping forward and using the strengths you have to handle that situation and make it better for you.

You know, I just talked about it.

I thought I was a failure and what I'd done.

My marriage had failed.

But the struggle

Wasn't a failure.

It was an opportunity to see things differently, to see what uh what I was capable of, what could I what could I overcome on my own

You know, div difficulty, those hardships, they they help us to grow in everything we do

So when we excuse me, when we when we look at this, you know, we have to know that we have not failed

We have just hit a roadblock and we have to push forward over it.

It goes back to everything we've talked about with resilience.

The hard times we face highlight the inner resources we have.

And they pull out our ability to be resilient and to use that courage to keep pushing forward, to keep moving on.

And

There's nobody in this world that could tell you that and use that as an example to teach that lesson than your dad, because that was everything he did.

He always pushed forward.

If he hit a roadblock,

He kept pushing forward.

You know, he told me the story of what happened when he first opened Sports CDU and all his financial backers pulled out

Because they were declaring bankruptcy.

I remember that.

Yeah, even as a little kid.

He didn't know what to do.

He's like, like you can file with us or you can take it over.

And he's like, well, I really don't want to give it up.

And he found a way to take it over.

He went and got a loan and he took care of it and and took over and he ran it for 30 plus years.

You know, he found the courage to push forward and make it work.

We all have that in our own lives.

We all face those hardships.

We face them and we have the fear and we think that we're we're being weak because we have that fear.

But that fear is really there to make us stronger.

So

Why is it, Liz, do you think why do you think that hardship we face teaches us

Like what is it those hardships teach us that comfort in our lives can't?

You think there's something there?

Well

You learn a lot when you're on your own in life.

That's for sure.

You know, um something that is well growing up, it's interesting.

Um

you know, watching my dad and everything that he did, uh, you know, he really didn't he never babied me.

He he always told me to figure stuff out.

And I understand now why he did that because later in life when I left Huntington and came to Louisville, you know, I dun I didn't have a many people to rely on.

And I went through different things where uh you know, I was in a relationship, live with somebody, we ended it and then

you know, separated and had to figure it all out again on my own.

And um kind of like what you were talking about, you know, going through a divorce.

Um, you know, there's moments in life that uh, you know

you don't realize all the things like that our parents instilled in us, especially like my dad.

Um you know, going back to those those hard times and the times that I just wanted to pack up and just

Coach Jim Clayton: run home.

You know, I didn't do it.

I figured out a way to push through and face my fear and I always knew that good things were gonna come my way and they normally did

Um, but uh, you know, in talking to my dad during those times, you know, he would always instill in me, um, you know, you gotta keep going.

You know, you're you're you you've you're uh you might feel like this is a setback, but there's a reason why this happened.

And um

You know, uh, good things are gonna come your way, you gotta stay positive.

Um, you know, life isn't easy

Um Oh it's not.

It's not easy.

There's twists and turns and curve bowls that you know every day.

But um

You know, if we just stay our course and uh, you know, nothing's perfect.

Nothing is perfect.

And if you think, you know, especially in the world we live in today

you know, on social media, people try to portray their lives as these perfect little things and nobody has a perfect life.

I mean, nobody does.

So um we're all

Uh we all fail, we all have struggles, and um we can overcome those.

Yeah.

So um

Anyway, it's uh it's quite interesting to say the least.

You know, the what we were looking at there with fear is that feeling feeling feeling fear

Does not mean you lack courage in any way, because fear is natural.

It is a human emotion.

It is deeply rooted in the way that humans have developed over time.

Courage is taking action despite the fear.

It's pretty powerful

Your your decisions that are considered courageous often will coexist with your vulnerabilities.

You know, sometimes it's, you know, you you have to pull up and have that courage to just get through because you were scared.

You know, oftentimes we just assume courage mean courage means there's no fear.

That's not the case at all.

If I was getting ready to jump out of a plane with a parachute strapped to my back, I would be scared

I would not find that to be an enjoyable experience.

But if I knew that the only way I was getting back to the ground was to jump and pull the chute, I'd have to have the courage to do it.

But the courage isn't there because the fear is there.

It's my action to overcome the fear, to move past it.

to find a way to to push forward out of it.

So we have to we have to look at

How things occur in our lives.

And we have to understand that there is a huge importance in accepting our fears

We have to accept them rather than judging it and using it to judge ourselves.

Fear cannot define you.

You can't let it be that way

You have to recognize your fear.

Because if you recognize your fear, you can guide yourself to be better.

You can help yourself to be more intentional in your choices.

Yep.

Acknowledging fear.

How does that change the way we act?

Well, it's a huge change.

Absolutely huge.

But the bigger question when I look at this is what happens when we do stop judging ourselves

When we do stop feeling bad because we feel afraid.

Well, it's like I just said, it pushes us.

To be better.

It pushes us to be more intentional.

And on our daily lives, sometimes we just have to do that.

And it's not always the big moments that make that happen.

You know, real life moments are where courage gets tested.

That's a big deal.

There's moments that happen daily in life.

Where courage is required, not optional.

Can you think of one from your daily life, Liz?

Oh gosh.

Um

You know, um my life is there's it's quite interesting to say the least.

Um

you know, getting up in the morning and just continuing with, you know, my day-to-day stuff.

I mean, it doesn't sound like, oh, it's, you know, there's just days that some days I don't want to do it.

Some days I don't want to get up

Especially since my dad passed.

And I think I prefaced this maybe on the last episode, but you know, there are times I just want to throw in the towel and just say, I don't want to do it.

But um

You know, I hear my dad whispering in my ear like he gotta keep going.

And, you know, like I I think I've said this to you.

Um

I'm not scared of anything anymore.

You know, there's always those little doubts and things that creep into our mind, but um, you know, the one thing that lately, especially the last few days.

There is I'm putting myself out there a little more than I ever have, especially on social media.

Okay.

With my dad's messages.

And then I'm, you know, I'm kind of creating some new content based off of the his believe, achieve, motivate.

Um

you know, material.

And um it's there are days that a little bit of self doubt creeps in on me, like, Oh, what are people gonna think?

Are they gonna think I'm crazy for for doing all of this and I'm talking about my dad too much or whatever the case is, but you know what?

I realized it takes courage to keep going and being authentic in the world we live in.

And the crazy thing happened to me.

I'm gonna

I'll t I'll make this quick.

Last um last weekend, you know, when I was home and um it was like Saturday evening, my mom went upstairs and uh went to bed.

I was sitting on the couch.

Um

Just staring at my phone, doing some stuff on there, and and the the f the TV was blank.

It had gone to it was black.

There was nothing going on because we hadn't, you know, I hadn't watched anything in a little while.

And all of a sudden this thing pops on the TV and it's like something from the universe.

I'm like, what in the world is going on?

What is this?

It's called Stingray Stargate.

Have you seen that?

I have not.

Okay, it's like something you can put on in the background.

Well I'm like, I don't think this has ever come on the TV before.

What is going on?

Well my mother came down a little later and she goes, what is that thing?

It looked like

that what happens is it's something that can go on your come on your screen like a screensaver.

Yeah.

And uh it like it's actual pictures from the universe of things.

Well

I looked it up.

My mom goes, what is that?

I've never seen that before.

I said, Well, I thought you maybe pluck program this on your TV or something.

So anyway, right when that came on the TV, I looked down at the clock and it said 1-1-1-1

I don't know if you've ever paid attention to like angel numbers or numerology.

Well, I'm like, okay, what does that mean?

That's weird.

So I looked it up and basically like your angel number means, you know, your loved ones are with you

They're guiding you.

Good things are manifesting in your life the way they're supposed to.

Just stay the course.

And so I'm like, well, that's interesting.

So the next day, you know, we go up to Sports City.

You came in that evening.

And um I met a l uh gal that day.

Um her son she brought her son in, her name's Julie.

Actually Julie Tawney, our supporter, is who I'm talking about

And she we started talking and I told her about what happened the the night before and she goes, Well, you know, my sister's a psychic medium.

We start talked a little bit about that and yada yada and just some cool things.

And so the next day, that Monday

She sent me a a video from this lady and the lady goes, was talking about Sunday.

And she goes, Did you know that Sunday was

And it was one one one one.

I'm like, well, how does that work?

Okay, January is one.

I'm like, oh my gosh, what is going on here?

Oh, you know, the more I've dived into it, I'm like, okay, dad, are you trying to tell me something here?

You know, like I gotta keep going.

You know, good things are happening.

I'm not gonna be scared.

I'm gonna, you know

That that's kind of my own the the messages that I'm I'm getting from somewhere.

So um it takes courage though to keep doing these things.

And um I felt like I needed those things to happen.

It gave me courage to keep going.

Um, because this week I've had a little bit of self-doubt creep in.

I don't know why, but I have.

And you wanna know it's a another thing that happened to me?

Uh this week, um I had fallen asleep on Mike's couch one night and got up real early, went home, let my dogs out, and then I went to work.

And um all day I'm like, something is in my shoe.

What is happening here?

Well, I thought it was my sock just messed up.

And um middle of the day, I'm like, I took my shoe off

And in there was a shiny penny.

It was the shiniest penny I've ever seen.

And I swear to you, I'd been talking to my dad that morning.

And um anyway, you've heard of pennies from heaven?

Mm-hmm.

Like, well, okie dokie dad, I hear you loud and clear here.

Yeah.

I'm not doubting myself anymore.

Yeah.

So so you know, in when when we navigate those tough moments, you know, with things that happen like that, we have to

We have to look at them from a from a bigger picture sometimes, in that we have to make sure that we have the right mindset with what we're doing.

That if we need it, we have the support that's going to hold us up and and help us.

We have to see that the timing of the situation aligns with us to use that courage successfully.

But ultimately, that we have to make the choice.

We have to choose to be courageous.

We have to move forward with that.

You know, the mindset and personal choice shape the responses we have to challenges.

Because courage is not an inherent trait.

Previously on the show, we talked about resilience with your dad and and how that resilience is not an inherent trait.

It's not something you have.

You have to build it up.

You have to create it.

Well, courage

Is a choice.

It's a decision you have to make.

It's not something you just have.

You have to build it up.

And sometimes

We don't know the best way to do that.

We don't have a clear path

We don't have necessarily a personality trait that supports being courageous.

You know, there are there are ways that we have to

Practice it daily, even in those little small situations.

So for example, let's say that you know you're at work and you have that one person

That just gets under your skin because they know what to do to push your buttons.

Sometimes it takes courage to hold back and to not

go after them as well.

You have to hold that back and that takes some courage.

You know, in your in your you know family life, my brother knows exactly how to do that

And I think it's because we shared a womb.

But, you know, it it takes the courage to say, it's okay, and just let the water roll off my back and not let it

Not let it the fear of the situation, you know, let that push me into a a mode that is counterproductive to what I want to do.

To have the courage to just say

It's okay.

I'm gonna let it go.

You know, there's there's an interplay that exists between mindset

and perspective and taking deliberate action.

And when those all come into alignment, it's very easy to show up courageously

So when I think about it, it's what, you know, what is one thing, one question that somebody might ask themselves in a hard moment?

To move toward courage.

Well, I think the easiest one might be something as simple as what's the brave thing I can do now?

I mean it sounds simple, but it's powerful because you have you have to sit there and think.

What what is the brave action?

What's the action that takes my fear and pushes it aside so I can move forward?

And there's a lot of times in life that we just we just don't have that.

And it it takes the skill of prepare or preparing the skill to be able to do it.

To be able to take that action that is courageous and move forward with it in in spite of the fear that you feel.

Um, do you remember the movie The Brave Little Toaster from back in the day?

Vaguely

That movie, just when we were when you were talking about this, I thought of that.

Um that was quite a favorite.

My mother videotaped everything on the Disney Channel back in the day.

And um

I made my nieces watch it recently.

Of course, anything that anything that, you know, we liked when we were kids and you try to make a young child watch it nowadays, they can't pay attention to it.

It's just not

Yeah, but that movie, um, it always uh inst there was something about that that it instilled something in me as a child and uh you made me think of it.

Nice.

So that kind of that kind of takes care of or takes care of us looking at, you know, facing the tough stuff in life.

So we're gonna move forward in the conversation here.

Yes.

Um well uh Randy, we've talked about, you know, recognizing courage when things get hard.

But what about learning from those experiences?

You know, every tough moment has lessons if we take to take the time to reflect on them.

And that's what we'll explore next.

you know, how preparation, perspective, and choice shape courage in the long run.

You know, the idea is that learning you learn courage through adversity

Mm-hmm.

Um courage is sometimes courage is only obvious in hindsight.

I'm sure you could, you know, you can think on situations in your life where you've done something and when you look back at it, you went.

Man, that was one of those courageous one of the most courageous things I ever did.

We all have those.

The idea is to help learn courage, you have to reflect.

You have to look back on your past experiences.

Fear in a moment can shape your future responses to any challenge.

I used to love to ride roller coasters.

But only wooden ones.

I wasn't a fan of steel coasters

What is it?

The Big Dipper?

Big Dipper was the best one, man.

I love that thing.

That thing's still kicking.

Uh yes, it's yes.

Do you remember the one that would go upside down at Camden Park?

What was that called?

What was that called?

The Thunderbolt Express.

Oh my god.

Which was originally at King's Island as the screaming demon.

Wow.

It's yeah.

But I, you know, it took

major courage for me to get on things like the vortex that used to be at King's Island and the flight of fear that's still there.

Um

My wife got my wife got me on the rock and roller coaster at Hollywood Studios at Disney.

I won't do that one again.

Um

It takes it took it took courage to to step up and move to that level of trying to do things.

I still don't do well.

Like I won't ride one where my feet are dangling.

I won't do that.

Um, and mostly because right now I don't know that I would fit in one of them.

Um being a larger fellow.

But you know, something like that I just I can't do.

But

It took a lot of courage on my part to step up and do it.

So after the first time, I could reflect back on it and go, well, I rode this one.

I should be able to ride this one.

and and find a way to push forward.

You know, there's there's practical lessons we can learn through tough times that we face.

You know, we can learn patience.

I mean, think about it.

You may face a situation where

You're not getting the answer or the response that you want, but you gotta be patient and wait on it.

And sometimes being patient takes courage.

Sometimes you have to be, sometimes you will learn about persistence.

Sometimes you have to be that squeaky will

That gets the grease.

You keep pushing, you keep pushing, you keep pushing.

And that takes courage because that's not going to make some people very happy.

But it will get a result.

And sometimes you have to come up with creative ways to solve problems.

A lot of people wouldn't think of that as being a cur uh of involving courage, but.

In so many ways it does.

You know, I can think of times at work where we're trying to come up with a way to solve a problem and nobody's really sticking their neck out there to come up with a solution.

And eventually somebody does because they're like, well, we've never tried this.

How about we go this route?

That's courage.

You're trying something new.

You're pushing beyond the fear of we don't know if this is going to work or not.

So you have to you have to understand that there is a a major theoretical difference between understanding of courage.

Yeah, I know what courage is.

I know what it's supposed to look like.

And the real life application of courage.

Mm-hmm.

You can you can explain courage all day long, but until you experience it, you really have no idea.

You got that right.

Um, well, you brought up a topic that's very fascinating to me that I don't I don't know if I've ever talked about or not, but um

uh you know um a moment moments in life that um you actually let's go back to

You probably my dad said this.

He's I don't know if he said it in the podcast, but he said it in a video.

He goes, you know, basketball and life run parallel.

You know, um and all of the lessons that I've taken um when I was when we opened Sports City

Back in nineteen ninety two, you know, looking back as a child, I was so scared to get out on the basketball court.

and jump into a class or like play in a league game.

I mean, there were times I would hide under the desk, okay?

And you're probably thinking, huh

Who?

What?

She was like that, you know, because I am so opposite of that now.

Oh yeah.

But um I remember, you know, uh my dad just kept encouraging me and I really didn't start

playing till I was in fourth or fifth grade, you know, really.

Um but uh there was one time I remember my dad and I were by ourselves at Sports City and um I said, Dad, teach me how to shoot a jump shot.

And I'll I if I could have a video of this or just even a picture, oh my gosh, I can see it in my head, you know, like it was yesterday.

But we went out in that gym for about an hour and he taught me how I was in maybe third or fourth grade and he taught me how to shoot a jump shot

And it clicked right there.

You know, it gave me confidence.

Um, but you know, I was so scared to get out there and like run around with all these kids.

And I look back thinking, man, I missed out on so much

You know, my brother he my dad threw my brother out there like it was nothing.

You know, he'd be out there at five years old playing with the high school kids, you know, and here I was like

you know, hovering in fear, like I can't go out there.

You know, but somehow I overcame that.

And um looking back through all the years of being in the gym, you know, there was always

I always played basketball.

There was always this fear in the back of my mind, can I do this?

You know, I think I almost limited myself on the court sometimes, but I always knew I could shoot a basketball.

One way or the other.

I could shoot it

And um, you know, I was always so envious of my brother.

He could break people's ankles and um, you know, with the basketball, handle the ball.

And I'm like, why can't I do that?

But

you know, that was his strength.

But anyway, um, you know, it took a lot of courage for me at one point to get out on that court and really, you know, be out there with my dad and 'cause I, you know, I knew he was so good at what he did

And I'm like, I can't be that kid that like looks like they don't know what they're doing.

Oh anyway, uh yeah, it's it looking back on that, I'm like, man, I really it took me a long time to overcome

You know, people that meet me now, they're like, You're s there's you're so much like your dad.

I'm like, well, took me a while, but

You know, uh as you grow older and you go through certain situations in life, you're like, you're stronger than you know, you think you are, that's for sure.

Yeah.

You know, and it and you know, for you, you have to overcome

you know, the fear of, you know, your dad.

I mean the fear of the, you know, can I can I hold myself up to the same standard that he's at?

You know, that's and every child has that about their parent.

Like, you know, for example, you just recently shared a video on Facebook from YouTube that they're interviewing a player, um, uh Petrovic.

Who was who played who had been traded from Portland to New Jersey and they're interviewing him on him on he goes on TNT on a on a on a broadcast.

And in the background you got Chris Dudley shooting

And then you see every once in a while Jimmy Clayton coming into the shot.

And you gotta think about it is if I can't make a jump shot,

That's not good.

My dad's the shot doctor.

It had to be it had to be tough.

You know, and like I I don't know that

I could have gone into my parent my family business, which is an automotive repair, and and done the same, you know, lived up to the expectations of, you know, my grandfather did this, my dad did this.

Because I just wasn't interested in it.

It wasn't something I wanted to do.

So it would be it'd be tough to overcome that and and try to do it.

So totally, totally get it.

Um

But as we keep going through, you know, we have to we have to understand that there is a very, very strong role in courage for preparation.

Preparation doesn't remove fear.

You can be prepared and still be scared out of your wits.

But here's an example.

Same trip to Disney.

She got me on Tower of Terror.

Oh Lord.

And I was prepared.

But I wasn't.

And when that floor, when that elevator dropped, and I came a couple inches off my seat, I was not doing very well.

Being prepared doesn't remove the fear.

It will reduce the panic you may experience, and it may increase your confidence.

But it doesn't remove the fear.

And you have to think about it.

Because when you prepare for things, there are multiple ways that you can prepare.

You can mentally prepare, you can emotionally prepare, or you can do a practical preparation where you're you're you're preparing yourself to just step in the situation and handle it the best way you can

But it doesn't always work out for you in those high pressure moments

Sometimes it takes, and I've talked about these before in the show, especially with your dad, those small, consistent habits

For planning, reflection, self-talk.

Those compound together into readiness.

All those small little things add up

for those bigger challenges.

If you can handle the small stuff, all that small stuff combined should help you.

to move into those bigger challenges and be able to handle them as well and pull out the courage to move forward with them.

Um, it's funny, uh, as you're talking about this, uh I think my dad has a video.

I'm gonna have to send it to you.

I'll I'll post it at some point.

But one of the things he always talked about, I think he was in high school

And high school or college and one of his teachers came in and he wrote this on the board.

He goes, I want you to repeat after me and we're gonna say this every day.

Mm-hmm.

The six piece.

Yep.

Prior, proper planning prevents poor performance.

And he did a video, I found it on his phone, where he talks about this.

And I believe he talked

He did it on the show too.

That's what I thought.

And um, you know, those are very wise words.

And um he was kind of the master at

you know, um doing those little things uh to prepare and he didn't always have it all together, but he figured it out.

Um, you know, with his daily habits.

And that's one of the things I always loved about my dad.

And

If there's anything I took from him, it's that.

Um, that's for sure.

And um, you know, but that was a very powerful

thing in his life.

For whenever he learned that till the day he died, those that those six words together, he used those quite frequently.

And he always

would repeat them to me, you know, throughout life.

Yeah.

And um, you know, uh I get it now.

That's for sure.

Yeah.

And you know, when we when we talk about the the idea of preparation, you you have to remember that

When we've laid the groundwork beforehand, courage is going to arrive a lot faster.

When you've prepared, you can pull that out a whole lot quicker.

You can move forward, you can handle those situations.

But ultimately it all comes down to courage is a decision.

It is not a feeling.

It is a choice

Waiting to feel brave, like to get that feeling inside, I'm brave, I can do this, it will delay your action.

You won't step out.

You'll wait to feel that

And that's that's a a a powerful thing to think about.

You know, when you when you look at how we frame courage,

You know, currently most people look at it and frame it as a feeling.

And it's not.

So when you reframe it to a decision,

It empowers you to take consistent action.

People often expect courage to feel confident

And that expectation can be extremely limiting.

Because sometimes when you take some, when you take that step that's courageous.

You are not confident in any way.

You're sticking yourself out there and you're hoping things work out.

And that's not confident.

And sometimes that's the way you have to be

Huh, well, I'm not gonna lie.

Uh I went through this a few months ago, the day of my dad's service.

Um, you know, I I listened to all of your all speeches.

And I was the last one and the whole week, you know, I can get up in front of anybody and talk, but the whole week I just could not sit down and write anything down.

Like I I'm like, what am I gonna say?

So literally, I took notes the morning of, and I got up there and I don't even know what rolled out of my mouth.

I know bits and pieces of it, but

I did it anyway.

I told the past I told Kevin Schulb I said I don't know if I can do this.

I think I told you maybe that too.

I don't know if I can do this

And he goes, yes, yes, you can.

And I remember him sitting up on the stage and I'm sitting there thinking, I can't do this.

And he shook his head at me.

And I'm like, okay, here we go, Dad.

I don't know what's about to happen.

But it was one of those moments in my life where I I just I couldn't get it together.

Which is understandable, but I still tried and I pushed past my fear and uh, you know, I I had to find courage somewhere 'cause

At the end of the day, you know, everyone came up to me and said, Oh, it sounded so great.

I'm like thinking, I sounded so stupid.

Dad, what in the world just happened?

But I didn't care.

Whatever, you know.

Talk about your dad.

And that's, you know, that was a powerful thing to have you there to speak.

You know, the all the rest of us who spoke, you know, we didn't have that same

same relationship with him to to talk about him in the way that you could.

So it was a it was a powerful moment for you being courageous

in doing it, but it was a powerful moment for all of us because we got to hear you talk about your dad and be courageous in doing so.

And it had it had a huge, a huge impact.

Do you remember well, you remember me talking about the cards that I found on his desk?

Well, there was one when I went to Hamlin my senior year, I'm I you know

Talking about I must I I you might remember this, but I guess I um I'm just gonna talk about it briefly, but I guess I didn't

Come.

I was always scared to upset my dad.

You know, I never wanted to upset him.

Um, very rarely did he ever really get upset at me.

Um and he never yelled at me.

You know, he would always just be very point-blank if I upset him.

um and you know, just tell me what I needed to hear.

Well, I uh this this card that I found, I gave it to him for his birth and I ru I've never written such a long card to him in my life.

And I kind of talked a little bit about what was written in there, but

You know, I guess I didn't come home on his birthday.

I wanted to stay in Hamlin.

And anyway, I guess I upset him.

So I wrote in there, I was encouraging my dad.

In this in this um this this this card, I was like, Dad, you're the reason why I'm here.

You know, if it wasn't for you, I w I I I wouldn't have made this decision and I'm so sorry, but I'll come spend time with you.

And I even wrote quotes in there, like b you know, building him up.

I'm like doing what he did to me all the time and I look at that card sometimes and I'm thinking, Wow, that's amazing

You know, he wasn't probably really mad at me.

He, you know, at the end of the day, but I, man, it's whatever happened, like I felt I needed to write all this down.

And he kept that.

And looking back on that, it just makes me laugh so much.

I was probably scared of what my dad was gonna, you know.

I had to I had to explain it all, you know.

I had to tell him how I truly felt.

And that took a lot of courage for me to do that because we were not

lovey dovey, you know, write all the words down.

And and um one of the things that my dad did that I've I've never talked about um a few years ago I was home visiting and

I had gone somewhere and I'd come back and I went to my bedroom and there was this blanket laid out on my bed.

Well, it said on the blanket to my daughter.

And had all these things that you want to tell your daughter how you feel about her.

And I remember standing there looking at it like, my dad got this for me.

It I just stood there and I think I cried and then he came in at one point and he goes, Did you like the blanket?

I said, Well yeah, that's the coolest thing.

One of the coolest things you've ever gotten me.

And so of course I have that at home, my apartment.

And um the other night I got it out and

Every time I look at it, it just takes me back to that moment, you know, um, or he, you know, got that for me.

And when I told you before, I'm like, he never really gave me a card or anything like that

and wrote anything down or voiced a whole lot, but you know, there's certain things he did and uh they mean more than anything else, you know?

Right.

Um but um anyway.

Yeah.

So

Now that we've we've we've explored this idea that of how courage is is revealed and what it can teach us, the next step is actually trying to live it day-to-day.

Courage isn't just for the defining moments, and we discussed that briefly earlier.

It's in the small decisions, those everyday choices that shape us, that shape who we are.

So let's talk about that and let's bring courage into focus into our daily lives.

And the first thing you have to know is every day courage shows up.

in the ordinary choices we make.

And we we did, we touched on that earlier.

But courage can be harder to realize

Um when it's those everyday choices versus those dramatic high-stakes moments.

I mean, you think about it, you don't realize you've actually done something courageous because it's just a small, simple thing

that you've done in your daily life.

It goes back to what we just talked about a minute ago with the habits, consistent small acts of courage taking place in your life daily

They build character.

They build resilience.

And over time, they build you up further to make sure you're ready to handle those bigger situations when they come.

We've talked about it already.

Those small choices add up.

They shape our habits.

They build our identity.

They make us who we are to be prepared for what else may happen

But why is it, you think, Liz, that we we tend to overlook the courage in our everyday lives versus those big dramatic moments?

You think it's just human nature that we just don't see it?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean that's just who we are.

I mean, s just the minuscule moments in our life.

Um and that's one of the things I'm trying to pay more attention to, especially since my dad passed.

Um

is waking up every day and not taking anything for granted.

You know, um I feel like today, this is the only we're this is the what is today?

The um January the the eighteenth.

We're never gonna relive this day.

Nope.

You know, and we have to get up with purpose every day.

And it that's one thing I I learned from my dad.

And you know, not every day was perfect, but at the end of the day, one of the things that I'm realizing lately is

you know, um, just uh not out tr you know, just just not let letting life pass me by

Um, in especially all of the little small things that I do daily.

And I'm trying to share.

Uh it's taken it it's taken a lot of courage for me to put myself out there and share

some of the little daily things that I I do.

You know, one of the things that that's giving me um

You know, the confidence to keep going is all the comments that I'm getting from so many people.

And I feel like it might be helping people at the same time.

You know, and um at the end of the day

Just when you think you can't do something, you can.

Yeah.

And it's not easy.

There's a lot to learn out there, especially in the technology world.

As we talked about.

But um

You know, we all have those little moments where, you know, the there like I said

We I've started journaling.

You know, one of the things we we can do daily is is write down things that that we do and you know reflect back on those things.

And um

You know, you can take pictures too and videos to to reflect and look back on the the the in sometimes you realize those little moments, they're actually big moments in your life.

You know, they all kind of work together to create those big moments.

And um uh it's um

Like I said, every day is a is a is a learning experience, to say the least.

Courage is

It's one of those things that you you you don't realize ultimately what the outcome's gonna be.

Fear is such a barrier.

to taking action that would be centered considered courageous.

Courage oftentimes requires you to act

before certainty exists.

So you have to accept the outcomes can't be fully under your control.

You have to just let things happen.

You took the risk.

You stuck yourself out there.

But did it turn out for the positive or did it come back to haunt you?

Sometimes that's what happens.

And it's it's tough, you know.

You have to you have to find ways to focus or or or find strategies that you move forward with despite the uncertainty.

For example, focusing on your values.

Your values will far outweigh

in the other things in those decisions.

You know this is the right thing to do.

Whether it turns out positive for you or not, you know you did the right thing.

Sometimes that has to happen

You have to sometimes trust your preparation.

Has everything else I've done in my life leading up to this made me ready to take this step?

Mm-hmm.

And you take the step because it has.

And then third, it's the idea that you you break down these actions you're going to take into steps.

So you move the process forward.

And it gives you the chance then, with that uncertainty, that you can shift and you can make the change.

You can be adaptive

With what happens.

You have to accept uncertainty.

Uncertainty takes courage and reframes it and takes it as.

A commitment to those things rather than doing what's comfortable.

Because sometimes what's comfortable isn't always the right way forward

Um, you know it's interesting because, you know, you think everybody has their lives all together.

They really don't.

Nobody does.

Nobody does.

We you know, everyone there's always somebody who's gonna have more money than you, regardless, or you're gonna think they they got the bigger house, the the beautiful car, the whatever they got.

One of the things that I've realized lately is um

Just taking it one day at a time, you know, and I'm not gonna worry.

Uh I'm not gonna have a 10-year plan.

Like I'm just not gonna do, I'm gonna enjoy every day as it goes.

And you know, there are things that I can plan for and do, but

You know, uh I just I've never lived my life like that.

Um, and in fear of like, oh my God, if I'm not th I don't have this by this age.

You know, I'm forty years old.

You know, at the end of the day when you've most people around me

They're married with kids and they've got a lot of other things going on that are totally different than my life.

And it's really fascinating to be in this position at this age because I have a whole different perspective.

Um, and I don't worry about anything.

That's the crazy part.

You know, I'm ex- But that's part of the key that you're you've stayed grounded throughout the hard times you've had in your life.

You've you've been able to sustain courage at times in your life when things felt heavy, when things felt overwhelming.

You know, you've you've found the way to develop the tools that help you to make it through your life and stay grounded and do those things.

We all do it.

We just don't always realize we do it.

You know, in our lives, we develop routines, and those routines get us through the day, and it helps us to stay grounded.

We have points of reflection where we have to think about things.

We have to st uh to look back and go, maybe this was a bad decision.

Maybe this was a good decision.

You know, did I do the right thing?

You know, that helps us.

You have to be mindful.

You have to have mindfulness of what's going on.

If you don't stop and and and look at things and and take in the bigger picture

Sometimes you're you're just going to run into the wall.

And even some of the physical practices we do in life.

You know, I know you go and work out multiple times a week.

Me?

Doesn't happen.

And I need to

But that's something I can look at and try to work on to help me stay grounded.

My brother, my brother has lost 75 pounds or so, maybe a little more, in seven months.

Wow.

And it's because he stayed committed to the process.

He had it was not a person who would go and work out, not something he would do, but he knew he needed to make a change.

And he did.

And he's he's took the courage to go out there and in public do workouts.

He goes to Planet Fitness.

And not an experienced guy doing it, but he's done it and he's been unbelievably successful.

And I'm proud of him.

I'm so happy that he's he's getting it together and and improving his health through what he's doing.

You know.

The other thing we have to look at is with courage, we have to have relationships and support systems that hold us up and help us to maintain that courage in our lives.

You know, my wife is my biggest supporter.

And she she tells me all the time about, oh, you got this, you nailed it, you got it.

Like even something as simple as the rings get closed on the activity meter on my Apple Watch.

She immediately sends me a message when she sees it because my dad has shared with her.

And she's always, you know, it's always like, oh, good job.

You've done this.

This is great.

You know, just little, little things like that.

That that's that's those relationships, those support systems.

You know, my mom, you know, I'm 45 years old, just turned 45, and my mom still checks on me as if I was her little boy

at home.

And when she heard I was sick the other day, she means like, Are you okay?

Do you need anything?

Mom, I'm okay.

I'm forty five years old.

I'll I'll be okay.

I have a wife.

She'll help take care of me if I need it.

She's like, okay, I'm just making sure you're okay.

You know, just stuff like that.

But those support systems, those relationships are so important.

You know, the people around us, the community we have.

The values that we share with that community, those personal beliefs we have with them, it all reinforces courageous action that is consistent

And it helps us to actively build up these networks and these habits so that we can sustain that courage over time.

And that's powerful.

Yeah.

It really is.

Um oh my gosh.

Uh yeah, I'll tell ya.

Um

moving to uh Louisville and not knowing anybody, it's definitely taught me a lot in uh having you know, building relationships with people and um, you know, just uh

Friends are family, you know, here for me.

And I have so many great people in my life.

And one of the things recently, you know, my other job, I still work for Dillard's part-time and um

Some of the ladies that I work with, you know, when I come in, some of 'em one my friend the other night, she goes, You're such a bright light every time you come in here and I'm like, You have no idea how

Yet that you say that to me, you know, because here I am, you know, trying to spread positivity and you know, um so many people there have they there's they're listening to the podcast, they're seeing my messages

They they see, you know, my dad's stuff and they just have so many nice things to say.

And every time I walk in there, it's just like somebody always comes up to me and says something.

And

You know, it it um they're inspiring me on top of it.

Um, you know, it's pretty cool uh to um know that people are listening to us and um

you know, uh listening to our messages and what we have to say.

Yeah.

So one last point I want to make before we move to forward with with closing up the topic today, and it's the idea that

Courage is rarely ever about solitary, being solitary, being by yourself

Your courage has to be strengthened and has to be sustained by having those connections.

You just gave a perfect example of that.

Led right into my last point I had on my notes here, Liz.

So, Liz.

Let's go ahead and let's head toward the end here and let's close it up before we head to our wisdom of the week.

Okie dokie.

Well, um we've covered a lot today.

You know, facing hard moments, learning from experiences, and finding courage in our daily choices.

Let's take a moment to pull it all together and reflect on what courage really looks like in our lives

Courage isn't something we need when life is smooth or predictable.

It's revealed when we face uncertainty, discomfort, or real difficulty.

It's in those moments that we are tested.

When our plans go awry, our circumstances push us beyond what we thought we could handle

These are the times when we see who we truly are and when courage moves from being an abstract idea to a tangible part of our character.

Feeling fear doesn't mean that we're weak or we're failing.

In fact, fear is often the signal that courage is being called for.

It's natural to feel uncertain, to feel anxious, or

To even be hesitant when you're confronted with a tough decision or a challenging situation.

Courage doesn't erase fear.

It exists alongside it.

What matters is the choice to act despite the fear to step forward even when the outcome isn't guaranteed.

Hard moments have a way of revealing strength we didn't know we had.

Sometimes we only realize how capable we are after we faced difficult situations head on.

It's not about being perfectly prepared or being confident.

It's about choosing to persevere.

It's about trusting that we can rise to the occasion

These experiences show us what resilience, determination, and grit truly look like in action

One of the things I've realized is courage is not about having all the answers or knowing exactly how things will turn out

It's about making a decision to move forward, to take the next right step, even when the path ahead is uncertain.

Each courageous choice, no matter how small,

Builds a foundation of strength that prepares us for the challenges yet to come.

Over time, these choices accumulate into a life defined by bravery and intentional action.

And we often think of courage as something needed only for those dramatic life-changing moments.

But it's in the small everyday decisions that courage is most often practiced.

Choosing honesty, standing up for what's right, or simply doing the next hard thing, that takes courage

Those consistent daily acts prepare us for the bigger challenges and shape the kind of character that it can dur.

Life's inevitable hard decisions.

And now it's time for our wisdom of the week.

This is where we take an inspirational or a motivational quote and share it with our listeners to provide a wisdom.

weekly dose of encouragement.

So this week's Wisdom of the Week, it's going to come from our own

Coach Jim Clayton.

Tough times don't last, tough people do.

It's often attributed to this quote is comes from Robert H.

Schuler, who was a minister.

But Jimmy took it and he made it his own.

He lived this every day of his life.

What's so powerful about this quote is how it connects directly to courage.

Life will always throw obstacles in our way.

Fear and uncertainty are natural.

It doesn't mean we're weak.

Courage isn't the absence of fear.

It's the decision to step forward anyway.

Coach Clayton believed that people who endure, who grow, who make a difference, are the ones who choose courage in the moment, even when it's uncomfortable or uncertain.

Schuller taught that how we respond to adversity defines our character.

He emphasized hope, perseverance, and positive action in the face of difficulty

That's exactly what Coach Clayton lived.

Courage isn't about waiting for fear to go away.

It's about making the right choice, taking action.

and trusting that persistence matters more than perfection.

Well, I saw my dad live this every day.

You know, courage wasn't only about big dramatic moments on the court or in coaching

It was in the everyday decisions, the tough conversations, and the challenges that no one else saw.

He showed that courage can be quiet but powerful, and that it's something we can all practice

For me, this quote isn't just inspiration.

It's a reminder that I get to carry forward his example.

Courage is something you actively choose moment by moment.

Exactly.

The takeaway for our listeners today is simple.

You don't need to be fearless to be strong.

Courage, it's a choice.

It's showing up.

It's making the right decision.

It's taking action even when you feel uncertain.

Tough people endure because they choose courage.

And that's what makes this week's quote remind us to do it in our own lives.

So before we sign off today, we have a challenge for you, the listeners.

Something to put what we've talked about into action.

This week, we want you to take one brave step.

Think about a situation in your life that feels uncomfortable, feels scary, or feels uncertain.

And take one action toward it.

It doesn't have to be huge.

It just has to be a single step forward.

You know, maybe it's having a conversation you've been avoiding, starting a project you've been putting off.

or standing up for something you believe in.

Whatever it is, take that step.

Courage is a choice, and today is the perfect time to practice it.

And we'd love to hear all about it.

Share your brave step with us via a voicemail or a message on the contact page on our website.

That's at shooting itstraightpodcast.

com slash contact.

or leave a comment on the post for this episode at shooting itstraightpodcast.

com slash zero one nine.

Hearing your stories of courage inspires others to take their own steps forward.

Remember, courage isn't about being fearless.

It's about showing up even when you're afraid.

And while you're stepping forward.

Make sure you're subscribed to the podcast and the app of your choice so each episode hits your feed as it's released.

You can find links to follow the show by heading over to shooting it straight podcast dot com slash follow

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And there are several levels of support available through Supercast, each with its own set of rewards.

So head over to shootingitstraight podcast.

com slash support to check them out and join today.

Thank you for listening.

We can't wait to see you take the brave steps this week and beyond as we step into the next year together doing what we do best.

Shooting it straight.

Bam, son